24 Lessons: To All the Girls I’ve Been Before

An open letter to young women on growing up.

5 min readJun 23, 2023

Sometimes you will act like a dick. Sometimes other people will too. Not just at 18, though especially at 18. You are young and naive and insulated and dickishness is inevitable; you are mostly blind to how much you hurt eachother. Repair what you can, remorse what you can’t, and avoid repetition. It’s okay. You are still loved.
Please eat more food. Fainting and flu twice a year is not normal. Weights also have wonderful benefits compared to cardio. You will feel much better. Food can be excellent rather than a chore, by the way — you’re just in processed potato country. Italian peaches and French pastries are going to blow your mind.
It’s okay to turn around and physically say “no”. Don’t waste your breath on anyone who respects you so little as to try and manipulate you. Don’t listen to the teenage friends who try to make you feel sorry for That Sulky Guy #7 — they like clubbing and drinking, not you.
On that note, trust your gut. You do not find that person at the bar inexplicably scary for no reason. You are not dramatic or crazy or mean or paranoid or delusional or overreacting. In fact, it’s okay if you are, because your safety is more important than their ego. Do…